Growing up, I was always able to trust my body. Since the age of eight, I had been an athlete, and I would even go on to play tennis in college. As someone whose body naturally performed, I was used to having a body I could count on and control to do what I wanted it to.

Once I hit puberty, however, things started to change. My menstrual cycle was anything but regular. My period never came, and when it did come, it brought with it severe PMS. I would have terrible cramps that would keep me up at night. I even had a doctor tell me that I probably couldn’t have kids, or would at least have trouble conceiving. While I wasn’t diagnosed with PCOS, I felt the pain of struggling with an irregular cycle.

September is PCOS Awareness Month. For those who don’t know, PCOS, or polycystic ovary syndrome, is a serious hormonal disorder that can cause acne, obesity, and infertility. Many women in our PS community struggle with PCOS and in turn, the fertility issues that come with it. I don’t know how infertility can truly feel, but I do know what it feels like to have a body that isn’t working for you. How discouraging and frustrating it can be. How it can make you feel powerless, hopeless, and so, so lonely.

If there’s anything I know from my own experiences, it’s that you can’t let something another person says determine what you believe is possible for yourself or your future. I had one doctor tell me I wouldn’t be able to have kids and another tell me that I had 24 hours to live. I have five children now, and I’m alive and well! Whatever you’re going through, whether it be infertility, PCOS, or something else, I believe that God has a plan. Perhaps, it won’t be “perfect,” like your neighbor down the street or the women you see on Instagram, but your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. And it doesn’t have to make sense (and probably won’t while you’re going through it). I never dreamed that God would use my pain to help other women, including you. Through God all things are possible, and He has the final say. Trust Him, even when it’s hard or painful.